Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Day 54 - Fear of Conflict - Self-Forgiveness Part 4 - People Pleaser Character continued



This post is a continuation of



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always have existent within me the intention of pleasing people so that I can be in their 'good books', thus minimizing the possibilities of upsetting them, making them angry, making them raise their voice and me and any perceived unpleasant facial expressions directed towards me, essentially ensuring that I will not have to face a conflict situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the tonality of my voice to suit/support the people pleaser character which I have created to avoid the possibility of being faced with a conflict/confrontation situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to alter my body language behavior when I am around beings whom I have attached a point of superiority to within my mind, so that I can blend in and not attract any attention which could give rise to any conflict/confrontation from these beings within my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself locked into this restricted character of pleasing people wherein I completely suppress myself and manipulate every fiber of my being to only project this character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience conflict within me when/as someone asks me to do something for them, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress this inner conflict by immediately stepping into the people pleaser character by saying 'Yes' or 'Sure' to the being with an unnatural/forced facial expression. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project irritation towards the being who has asked me to assist them, and by/through this attempting to hide the fact from myself that the irritation I experience is directly linked to and from the source point which is the inner conflict I experienced the moment the being asked me to assist them. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by/through becoming irritated with the being who asked me for assistance, I am through this manipulating myself so that I do not have to face and take responsibility for the inner conflict I experienced the moment a being asked me for assistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a mixture of emotions, specifically fear, anxiety, resistance when/as someone asks me to do something for them in a moment where I see that I would compromise my plans of points to be done if I were to agree to assist them. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically step into the people pleaser character and say yes, without first having directed the emotions I experience within/as myself and from this evaluating whether it is practical for me to agree to assisting them and then communicating this without going into fear of doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying no to someone when they ask me if I am able to do something for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being shouted at if I were to say no to someone when they ask if I am able to do something for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that if I were to say no to someone asking if I could assist them with a point, that they will resent me and carry a grudge. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent others and carry a grudge when they say no to my requests for assistance with any point within my world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by/though communicating with a being regarding whether I am practically able to assist them with a task or not, it is just this - communicating the point. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint my practical communication with the inner conflict I have experienced in relation to this in my past which consists of emotions/energy.




*******************





No comments:

Post a Comment