This is a
continuation to my blog post Day
84 - Who and What am I ‘Living’ for?
Self-Forgiveness - Part 1
I forgive myself
that i have accepted
and allowed myself to exist within a state of physical uncomfortability as i
walk my day and encounter others within my physical reality.
I forgive myself
that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship
within myself of fear
towards the point of interacting with others in my physical reality based on
the knowledge
I have about how my mind patterns
are able to in an instant activate and completely direct me to interacting from
a starting point of energy, and thus consequentially manifest time-loops for
myself as well as possibly affect another's process of self-change in a way in which
I have judged
to be 'negative'.
From this I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and
understand that I have through this been keeping myself locked into the point
of participating from and within my mind
when/as I interact with others due to this irrational fear which I have held
onto based on these memories of my past - thus manifesting the exact point
which I had resisted in the first place through creating a fear relationship
with regards to interacting with my environment and those within it.
Furthermore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go
through my days by existing within my mind as memories of the past as all of
the times when I had created undesirable consequences
for myself and others through my self-interested mind participation within my
physical reality, and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and
allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this continued existence
within fear of
interacting with others from a starting point of unconditional self-expression,
indicates that I had not in fact truly forgiven myself unconditionally in those
past moment when I had realized what I had done through creating consequences
from my mind-participation with others and my physical environment.
Thus, I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship
of fear of and within myself in the moments when I had self-realizations
with regards to how I had created and manifested consequences which were not
best for all in the past, and from this I forgive myself that I had accepted
and allowed myself to participate within the backchat of "I am so fucked
up!" and "I cannot trust myself because I always create shit for
myself" during and after these moments of self-realization, instead of
having allowed myself to truly take my 'seeing' of the patterns of how I had
participated within them in creating the outflow of consequences which I had,
and from this moving myself to forgive myself unconditionally without
self-judgment in order to release myself from the emotional
energetic charges which I had attached to each dimension of the patterns which
I had existed within, and from this directing myself to investigating practical
solutions to live to
ensure that I never allow myself to fall into the 'same traps' of my mind
again.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to have upon becoming more aware of how
I create and manifest consequences through my mind participation, go into fear
of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, instead of being
practical within my expansion of self-awareness
through assisting and supporting myself to simply move to self-correction
through applying the tools of self-writing, self-forgiveness and
self-corrective action.
I forgive myself
that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that
each one will have to walk through their own minds in taking responsibility for
what one has accepted and allowed in order to correct the mess we have created
here on earth through allowing
ourselves to exist within alternate mind dimensions of illusion, and within
this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view this
basic act of required self-responsible self-change into a being which exists in
support of all as self as a scary thing to do, without realizing that my
continued justification of this fear is merely an excuse to remain within
separation from all within my self-interested reality wherein I have lived only
to serve myself.
Furthermore, I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and
understand that fear is in fact a cop-out wherein I make the fear 'so real'
within my mind and try with all my might to justify it as real, instead of
realizing that through this I am only evading the act of stopping my
self-separation from reality here through giving my fears more value and
attention than the basic acts of stopping the illusion of fear. Within this I
forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and
understand that all I have been doing is charging, powering
and generating the mind-consciousness system within and as me through allowing
myself to be equal to this fear of essentially living radically within and as
breath, constantly and consistently, which is shown in the basic starting of a
statement of 'I fear……", wherein I state that I AM "this" FEAR.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build layers upon layers of self-separation within myself
through defining myself to being equal to fear through all of the "I
fear….." statements as self-beliefs which I have defined myself according
to.
In my next blog post
I will be going deeper into the specific fears I have defined myself as in
relation to the 'umbrella fear' of fearing
interaction with others within my world and reality.
Thanks for reading.
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